Why is it when someone (or rather, I) is in the mode of depression something worse would always come up at the eleventh hour? sigh.

I want something new, maybe a fresh perspective on things. Not just sitting for exams, or classes or other boring repetitive routine things like that. I want something new to do. A new adventure, and new stories to tell!

but you're a student malina, a MEDICAL student! That is what you SHOULD do!
STUDY SCORE FOR EXAMS STUDY and STUDY. Eat well, sleep well, socialize a bit, then STUDY balik.

But i want to do something else.

Like, travelling, or writing, or hiking, or doing volunteer work, or maybe, bungee jumping! ANYTHING BUT THIS RIGHT NOW.

*slaps self*

who am i kidding.

ooh so-can't-wait-for-July to come mode.

:)

Everyone was beyond excited as we headed to one of the most renowned old folks’ home located on Jalan Kaliurang just about 15 minutes away from campus.

As we reached the complex, I was amazed by the cleanliness of the place. In my mind was this unwary, unattended place where all the elderly aren't treated the way they should be treated. But I was proven wrong. They even have this big hall where the officials would meet visitors or for any big events happening in that place.

My heart began to beat faster as we were guided to our respective pavilions to meet the elderly that was assigned respectively for us.

A million questions ran through my head at that time.  

What if they refused to be examined by me?

What if they were sleeping and we came only to disturb their very infrequent rest?

What if they don’t like me?

*****

I was excited and confident, yet worried at the same time.

So we reached the pavilion after a few minutes walking from the hall. Apparently it was an all men’s pavilion. We saw a few elderly men sitting outside chit-chatting with their friends, probably about their life, or the remainders of it.

And that was when I saw him. The elderly whom I knew I was going to interview and perform physical examination on. He looked exactly, if not, similar like my late grandfather, which until now, I miss so dearly.

*****

He was well composed without any signs of immobility. But his speech was somewhat impaired and slurred, probably due to the already absence of teeth. But he has the sweetest smile. It was the most welcoming smile I had honestly ever seen, even without any teeth, he looked great and warm.

So we sat down, and I began asking him a few questions, relating to his personal details, education background, pre-existing and past diseases etc. I find the some of the following questions regarding the eye, ear, incontinence, psychological and memory a bit mechanical and investigative, so I sort off changed the questions to become friendlier and to have that borak-borak sambil minum teh kind of feeling.

He whispered into my ear, or rather, that is just his normal way (without any teeth) of speaking.

Pak, pak senang ngak nonton TV barengan sama teman-temannya

Iya.

Oh bagus sekali pak (while circling NO to the question relating to eye function or whether the elderly has any visual difficulties in his daily life)

Bapak senang nonton sinetron iya?

Ngak

Jadi apa yang ditonton pak?

Dangdut. Sambil menari sekalian.

I let out a small, but significant giggle. He was smiling at this point, my heart melted by its sweetness.

I asked a few more “santai” questions to complete the checklist required and given to me. It was more of a health screening process to view the health status and aging process of an elderly. I asked whether the Pak has ever been sad (how can he be, with that smile?), had difficulties in hearing (dangdut? obviously no problem there) and also whether he felt lazy/cannot perform house chores.

*****

Now, came the time to test the memory of the patient/elderly. There were three objects shown on my test paper, and the bapak is required to name all three objects.

Sekarang bapak, jika bapak tidak keberatan, silakan dilihat lukisan-lukisan di kertas saya ini, bapaknya kalau ngak bisa dalam bahasa Indonesia, monggor dalam boso jowi juga boten nopo-nopo.

Bapak took a glance. Then confidently,

Clock, Cup and Chair.

Huh? Sekali lagi Pak.

Clock, Cup and Chair.

Wow. (a few seconds of silence).

Then out of my nature, I wanted to test more, incapable of digesting the fact that a non-schooling bapak, never married and only had experiences working as a pemotong rumput could have spoken to me in, English? I drew a table.

Pak, ini apa?

Table.

Ok I give up. My bapak here is awesome! Or rather, I need to stop underestimating people. huhu.

I clapped my hands in appreciation to the bapak. Then I asked him, while I was still holding the pen from drawing that ugly asymmetric table. I asked him whether he knows how to draw? (thus eliminating the problem of fine and general upper motor neuron dysfunction)

He drew.

It was a woman. The side profile rather shows a woman with long hair, slightly gigantic head and luscious lips.

Pak, ini siapa ini? Cakep sekali ya?

Ini kekasih saya, mantan kekasih saya.

Namanya apa pak?

Sella.

He continued drawing to its very detail, and at the end, so humorously placed his signature as though he was some renowned artist. He smiled at the picture that he just drew, and handed it to me.

Wuah, cantik buanget ya dia? Kapan kali terakhir bapak bertemu sama dia?

1973. Dan sampai saat ini, saya masih cintakan dia.

And with that, I stopped asking. He has loved and missed her for so long. Even without a body to hold and his own weakened body to bear, his heart remained the strongest muscle in his body. And for that I was in awe.

*****

These people, not just my Bapak, are now here, with a million stories to tell. All came from different cultures and backgrounds. Some address us, with the saddest of stories. One ibu, immobilized and paralyzed, braved herself to stand up and dragged herself to the door upon hearing footsteps (our footsteps, of course), thinking that it might be her son, which has yet to visit her for the past two years.

Or the story of one bapak, who has post-power syndromes, loathing the government and has a mild case of dementia.

I couldn’t stop thinking what would happen if one of my relatives is left here, alone, without a family to go home to. I instantly imagined my parents, and I was crying in my heart.

A million more stories to tell. From all of us 77 students in my batch, none came home without a lesson learnt.

And let’s just say it was a rather quiet bus ride home that evening.

“What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one's memories”

~william somerset maugham~